keyofnik: But no, okay, this hurts me. THIS HURTS ME SO MUCH Look at what they’re saying. "Our light is weak". And that could mean that they’re near death themselves, and surely they’re hurt, but I don’t think so. It’s just their own essence, It’s so weak compared to Usagi’s, it’s so NOTHING compared to Usagi’s. But that they put “weak” in the same space as “protect”. I can’t help but see their perceived failure all over this. “If our light wasn’t so weak, we could’ve protected you better.” And they couldn’t. They couldn’t. Usagi chose to take her own life (WILL BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE END OF TIME) while they were paralyzed and unable to act. But you have to wonder. You know what I’m hearing here? "If we’d loved you more, you wouldn’t have done it." Because It was how wrapped up Usagi is in Mamoru that made her do it. And maybe it was an impulse thing. I like to think it was. (I really HAVE to think it was, to reconcile this.) If she’d been able to take a breath or two, if she’d been able to just hold on for a few more heartbeats, she would’ve remembered how incredibly, eternally loved she was. How they might’ve found some way to fix this, how even if they couldn’t, she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t alone, but in that moment, despite everything they’d told her, Usagi felt she was. She remembered Mamoru telling her to believe in him, but she forgot the others telling her how they’d always be there for her no matter what. And how else can the Senshi take that? She forgot, and it has to be their fault. It HAS to be. Because otherwise it’s Usagi’s fault, and nobody can possibly accept that.
