lilacblossoms: alessandriana: laylainalaska: alessandriana: tennants-hair: absolutely-flabbergasted: black—betty: theconsultingharlequin: exrlgrey: miseryxcloud: exrlgrey: Moose are so big, holy shit I thought they were like deer size holy shit I thought that was a fucking dinosaur I kno what the heck Welcome to Canada. #betty dearest#explain HAHA—I can’t really explain the majestic qualities of the moose, but I do have a story that further illuminates their hugeness: A friend of mine was driving down the highway up north and a moose stepped out onto road and he hit it. The moose turned its head at the last minute and its antlers went through the windshield and bent the metal frame of the entire front end of the car. My buddy was smart or lucky enough to bend down—the antlers went right over his head and the police told him he would have been severed in half. His car was DESTROYED. The Moose just pulled its head out of the wreckage and continued on to the other side of the road like it ain’t no thing. IN SHORT: A moose is so big it can joust with a large automobile traveling at high speeds and dominate so completely that our only option is to worship it as a God in Canada. ardatli: #truth#lemme tell you about the time my uncle went up to the camp during mating season#and a bull moose fell in love with his jeep#and he drove so fast#while looking over his shoulder#that he got the damn thing lodged between two trees#and had to scramble out over the hood to get away#moose A further anecdote to illustrate how big moose are: My brother hit a moose one time while driving a small car, like a Dodge Neon type of thing. The car went UNDER THE MOOSE’S BELLY and then clipped its legs, knocking them out from under it so that it fell on the back part of the car and crushed it. The driver’s compartment was mostly undamaged, however, on account of driving under the moose. So that is how long a moose’s legs are. Long enough to walk over a Dodge Neon. Have I also mentioned they’re extremely belligerent and occasionally trample people to death when they’re annoyed. h-holy shit. also they are SPOOKY FAST
